Category Family

Mar 5 2020

Saying Goodbye, and Being Amazed

This past September, my older brother Marty passed from this life.  His body was cremated, and after a few months of finding the perfect resting spot, we gathered together this past Saturday to bury his remains at the Cedar Grove cemetery in Lebanon, TN.

Marty loved to go tour cemeteries, and could often be found on free weekends driving all over Middle Tennessee to walk through historic burial grounds.  My parents were able to find a few cemetery plots in this historic cemetery in Lebanon, in one of the oldest sections, near an old Civil War general whose statue is in the middle of the Lebanon town square.  He would have loved it.

We had a beautiful, personal, simple ceremony with just our immediate family.  Everyone said some touching, and some lite-hearted remarks.  We cried, we laughed, and most importantly we had closure.

At the end of the little ceremony, Marty’s two daughters, his wife, my sister, and my daughter placed flowers on the spot where his ashes were buried.  Then his son, Nathaniel, took a $2 bill, and placed it with the flowers.  He said “Dad always told us to keep us a $2 bill with us so if something happened to us, we’d have the entry fee into Heaven.”  Sounds exactly like something Marty would have said.

Early Tuesday morning of this week, a massive tornado hit Middle Tennessee.  It hit first in the Nashville area, and stayed on the ground to Cookeville.  In between Nashville and Cookeville is Lebanon.  Along the path of the tornado was Cedar Grove cemetery.

Here are a few pictures of the damage:

Trees down at the gate where Marty was laid to rest.

Tree down in the cemetery.

Look at how the wind just snapped this old tree like a twig.

I just knew after I heard that the tornado ripped through that area, that the flowers, the $2 bill, and the sod placed on top of the burial site would be gone.  Mom and dad went out, as well as my sister and her husband, to go check it out on Wednesday.  And here’s what they found —

All the flowers were still in the exact same spot.

But here’s the most amazing thing – the $2 bill was still there:

The $2 bill Nathaniel placed in the flowers was still there after the tornado ripped through the cemetery.

I don’t think this was a “God-thing.”  I don’t believe it was divine intervention.  I just think it is absolutely amazing.  And here’s why – Marty was always a pretty chill dude.  He took after my Grandfather Smith in that regard.  If a tornado was headed straight toward Marty, I could see him saying “This is pretty cool.” and then just hanging out watching it.

I’m grateful for my brother’s life, his example, and now i’m grateful for this closure.  May you truly now rest in peace.  Miss you big brother.

Feb 2 2020

Family Focused February – A Discipleship Initiative for Your Home

Family Focused February

I recently announced another new discipleship initiative here at the Mayfair Church of Christ that I’d love for all of you who are reading to participate in as well.  We’re calling it simply “Family Focused February.”

The idea behind this month is simple – spend time teaching, admonishing, encouraging those you are closest to – your family.

Some simple ways to do this:

  • Family bible readings each night
  • Family prayer time
  • Visit someone in the hospital
  • Make a visit to encourage people in the nursing homes
  • Make some homemade cookies and take them to a neighbor
  • Cook a large home cooked meal and take it to the local fire station
  • Make a commitment to be in church every Sunday of the month
  • Make a pledge to reach out to one nearby neighbor you don’t know
  • Memorize scripture together
  • Perform some random acts of kindness for people you don’t know

The list goes on and on – and it’s not something that ends at the end of February.  Make this is a pattern in your family.

If you’re not married, or if you don’t have a family living with you – find some of your closest friends and make a commitment to do some of these things.  The goal is this: to grow in your relationships with each other as you grow closer to God.  Do all these things for HIS glory.

What ideas can you come up with?

Jan 7 2020

Family Improvement: Reading Through the New Testament (It’s Easy, and You Can Do It, Too! Free downloadable plan for you and your family!)

Widick Family Chronological Reading Plan vs 3

My wife decided this year was going to be the year we read through the entire New Testament as a family.

There’s a lot of reasons why a family says they can’t do that:

  • We don’t have time to do that
  • We can’t fit one more thing into our day
  • We can just do it on our own
  • I don’t know where to start
  • My kids will never buy into that
  • My spouse won’t want to do that

The list could go on for days, but there’s no real reason every family shouldn’t be reading the Bible daily.

So here’s why this is easy.

  • I took a list of the New Testament in chronological order, and from that, came up with a very simple daily reading list which you can get by clicking the following – Widick Family Chronological Reading Plan
  • This won’t take you more than 5-10 minutes of your time
  • It will pay off big time in the end, because a family that reads the bible together sticks together

I encourage you all to find a way to make this happen.  We have made it a goal that at 8:30 every night, we stop what we’re doing, and we go the day’s reading.  The reading is never more than a chapter or two, and doesn’t take very long to get through.

You don’t have to find time for questions and answers, just let the Word of God speak.

Whether you’re young or old, single or married, childless or a home full of children, I think it would do you a great bit of good to commit.

Jan 2 2020

Moments to Remember

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My sweet daughter wrote this poem for my father this year for Christmas.  It was our first Christmas without Marty, but we’ve also said goodbye to other family members in the past.

We played Bingo at my aunt and uncle’s house with my grandmother’s old bingo set.  We reminisced about when we used to all gather around on Christmas day and play Trivial Pursuit, and how my other grandmother would just blurt out answers for the opposing team.

I told my wife the story of how one Christmas eve at the Widick house.  My mom’s parents would stay with us in their later years on Christmas eve.  My grandfather couldn’t walk without shuffling his feet.  He never picked them up, he just sort of scooted around like Tim Conway would do in his old man comedy sketches.

My parents gave them their bed downstairs, and one year – my grandmother kept yelling at the top of her lungs to my grandfather “Quit shuffling your feet!  You’re going to wake up the whole house!!”  All the while, we never heard his feet, but we certainly heard her!

People will come and go in your life.  Family members pass on.  But the memories of the holiday seasons past stay with us.

Dec 18 2019

One of the Only Guaranteed Things in Life…

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Changes.  They happen.  I guarantee it.  Changes happen, regardless of whether we want them to or not.

Recently, I’ve gone through some changes.

First – my family and I made a move from Tampa, FL to Huntsville, AL.

Second – I got out of full time preaching ministry, and took a job as a Discipling and Associate minister.

Third – I went off some major medication.

Fourth – I lost something.

Now, let’s discuss these changes real quick.  Back in March of 2015, we moved to Tampa, FL from Nashville, TN to preach for the Northwest Tampa Church of Christ.  My time there was both a blessing and a hardship.  I will admit, I had a hard time there.  It was far from my family.  It was not the “Bible Belt” that I was used to.  It didn’t have the traditional southern charm we grew up with in my family.  But for 4.5 years, I worked with some great families in my church, and we miss our small group terribly.  There were some great folks in there, even though one of them did ruin my birthday cake by putting turnip greens into some cupcakes…but that’s for another time.

We were not looking to move – but an opportunity landed in my life that I felt was directly from God.  I was invited to work with the Mayfair Church of Christ and to serve on their leadership team as their discipleship minister.  I began that job in October, and it has been the greatest blessing of my life to work alongside the best ministry staff in the world.

At the same time, my wife was able to secure a teaching job at Madison Academy.

When we started to make this transition, I decided to go off some medication.  I hesitate to write about this, because it is deeply personal, but I feel like it could help someone in the future.  In August of 2017, due to some situations that had occurred in my life, my doctor thought it was best, after visiting with a counselor, to go on some anxiety medication.

I remember when I took the first pill, I didn’t know what to expect.  From my time in teaching and youth ministry, I was expecting to zone out – but what happened was exactly the opposite.  The things I worried about, struggled with, things I couldn’t let go of – I was now able to deal with them.  Things that got shut me down didn’t anymore.  Situations I didn’t want to face were no longer a problem.

Lack of encouragement was a real motivator behind going on the medication.  A person can only go so far without it, and was really struggling.  While the medication did not provide “encouragement” it did provide the ability to see beyond it, to compartmentalize things, to move forward.

On Sunday, December 15, I took my last pill.  I no longer need it.  I have been encouraged and uplifted here and that was a MAJOR factor in being able to move past the pills.

Another major change has been something I’ve lost.  Since August 7, 2019, I have been on the Keto Diet.  I used to laugh at folks who did the diet.  I couldn’t understand why people would want to restrict themselves.  How can you give up potatoes and rice and chips?

Earlier this summer before all the changes began – I ballooned up to 315 pounds.  It was officially the heaviest I’ve ever been.  I was miserable.  I was diagnosed with obstructive sleep apnea.  I was in a bad place.  When my wife and daughter moved to Huntsville ahead of me to start school, I began doing the Keto diet.  No more than 30 carbs a day, try to keep under 1600 calories a day, and lo and behold, the weight started to come off.

I wasn’t able to weigh myself over the past few months since we’ve been staying with my in-laws with all of our possessions in storage.  So this past weekend, when we finally closed on our new house and moved in, I was able to find the scales.

I’m down to 275.  40 pounds gone.  And it feels wonderful.  I still have a long way to go.  But I feel so good.  I’m not bloated, no upset stomach, food is no longer a major motivator in my life.  I can bend over and tie my shoes without struggling.  I’ve struggled with weight most of my adult life.  I know that dieting is not a fleeting moment, but rather, a lifestyle change.

I say these things to motivate you.  To encourage you.  If you think you may need medications for anxiety, depression, etc. – don’t wait.  Go see a doctor today.  If you need to lose weight, don’t put it off.  There’s no time like the present.  I know, I know, the holidays are coming up, so you’ll “start it in the new year.”  No, you probably won’t.  Sure you may go and buy what you need and plan on it, but if you wait, there’s always an event coming up that you don’t want to miss.  I did TWO THANKSGIVING MEALS and DID NOT CHEAT!  Christmas is coming, and I’ll again do the same.

Finally – I’ve moved my blog to this new site – http://www.ministerlane.com – with hopes of having a more regular presence once again.

Feb 6 2018

Build Project #4, and #5 – a Chair and an Office Accessory

I’ve been taking part of an online woodworking course called the Weekend Woodworker led by Steve Ramsey.  It has been great fun, and I’m learning how to do a ton of awesome things.

For my 4th and 5th projects of the year – one of them was part of the course, and one of them was not.

First up, a paper holder.  I know, it doesn’t sound awesome and amazing – but it taught me some great skills on the table saw, and even led to a “mini-project” where I learned how to make a pushstick designed by woodworker Matthias Wandel:

The paper holder took just a few small cuts on one 1×4 board, and a piece of plywood:

First up was learning to cut some rabbets on the boards:

I had to cut an opening in the front piece for being able to grab the papers out of the holder:

Then I had to put them all together:

Next I had to rip the sheet of plywood, which I did not enjoy.  I got it cut a bit too much and it didn’t fit exactly like I wanted it to, but that’s okay, it’s on the bottom.  I cut it out and then glued it in place:

After that dried up, I cut some decorative bevels into the top:

The last step was to make a paperweight – which consisted of just gluing up two boards together.  You’re supposed to add personalization to it, I just haven’t gotten around to it yet.

After I made this, I thought it was time to try something not part of the course – and we’ve been needing some barstools for our kitchen area.

This project was really more of a “let’s see if I can do it, and if I can, I’ll make a better one later” type of project.  I began with some 2x4s and cut them down to some lengths that would work well for the project:

This project, I was finally going to use pocket holes.  I don’t have an expensive “Kreg” jig, but rather I had purchased a pocket hole jig from Harbor Freight.

The only thing I don’t care for about the HF jig is that I can’t adjust the height of where the holes go in the board.  It ended up working out just fine for this project, but I can see where in the future it may restrict me from using them in all projects.

Pocket holes are supposed to “hide” the screw, and then you can go in and fill the holes later, or you can just leave them if you’d like.  Here’s the jig, and here’s how it works:

I am using the Kreg brand screws – they were a gift from my wife at Christmas.

After getting all the holes drilled, I started to piece things together:

After putting the braces in, and then putting on the seat boards, here’s what it looked like:

The chairs will fit perfectly in our kitchen/living room area under the kitchen counter.  However, they are a bit clunky – so I may go back to the drawing board and make something a bit less of a large footprint.

Regardless, even if we don’t use it in the kitchen area, I now have a great seat for my garage/workshop area.

Aug 20 2015

What We Can Learn from the Duggar Family Today

Danger!

My wife and I used to enjoy sitting down each week to watch the Duggar Family on their TLC show, 19 Kids and Counting.  Being a Christian family, we were thrilled to see that a good, wholesome, decent family with good morals was finally being portrayed on television.  It was so refreshing.  We watched the kids grow up like many of you did on television.

I was heartbroken to find out about the molestation charges on Josh Duggar, the oldest of the children.  The family did, in fact, admit that they had gone through a tough time, and that Josh had indeed molested several children.  There were many opinions, many thoughts, and many disagreements had by many people about the situation.

His wife forgave him.  She knew about it going into the marriage.  The family stood firm on how they handled it.  Would I have done things differently if it were my son?  Honestly – I don’t know how I would handle it.  But I can’t put myself in their shoes.  What a horrible thing to go through.

The Duggar family lost their show over a mistake their son made.  Pressure mounted on TLC to drop the show completely, and they did.

Fast forward to today.

A few days ago, hackers claimed they had hacked the Ashley Madison website.  This is an online site for people looking to have affairs (atrocious as it may sound) in a private, discreet way.  The hackers didn’t get what they wanted from the site, so they released information that is bound to destroy many, many families.

Last night, I saw that Josh Duggar’s name had popped up in the list.  All I could think of was “My goodness, someone logged in under Josh’s name so that he might one day get in trouble and they could smear the Duggar name.”  Then, I saw that the name was attached to Josh’s credit card, and his addresses in a previous and current home.

Even today, as I saw an article about it – I didn’t want to believe it.

But then, he admitted this afternoon that he had indeed been unfaithful to his wife, and was addicted to pornography.  Molestation charges, and now this.

A great family, one that has strong core beliefs, taken down again because of the mistakes of this young man.

So what are my thoughts?  I have several on this tragedy that is unfolding before our eyes.  Here are just a few:

  1. The internet is a wonderful tool, but when used the wrong way can destroy lives.  Sadly, the Duggar family is now a victim of the misuse of the internet.  There are so many sites out there in cyberspace that want nothing more than to prey on you.  They want to lure you in – to hack your computer, to steal your information, to steal your bank account, to get you involved in an inappropriate relationship.  While it’s great to be able to shop online, it’s far too easy to shop for the wrong thing.
  2. The internet is not safe.  You MUST take precautions to keep your family safe from the web.  Many people think an antivirus program is all they need.  However, filters need to be used, as well as communicating with your family about what’s out there in the internet world.   I was showing my wife the other night a music video to a popular song by a popular artist in which there are two versions – a rated and unrated version.  Any child can type in the name of this song, click on the unrated version, and see two popular music artists ogling topless women parading around.  It’s just that easy.  If you trust your children, that’s not enough – because a lot of time innocent searching can lead to terrible things.
  3. Don’t be absorbed.  The internet, your laptops, your smartphones, your tablets – can suck you in and not let go.  Click on this, go here, search here, and before you know it you’ve spent 3-4 hours on Facebook.  You see a link to a place that links to this place or that place – and you wind up seeing an advertisement for love, for intimacy, for something you’re searching for.  Get off your phones, give your thumb a break from scrolling through Facebook, and have a relationship with your family and friends, not a piece of technology.  I know people who spend more time on Facebook than they do anything else during the day.  Perhaps it is time to take a Facebook/Internet sabbatical if it’s absorbing all of your time.
  4. Communicate.  Sites like Ashley Madison, along with many other sites – prey on those who are seeking something they are not getting in their own relationships.  It might be something simple like conversation, or it could involve sexual intimacy.  If you are not getting something you are wanting out of your marriage – COMMUNICATE!  If sex isn’t occurring as frequent as you’d like – COMMUNICATE!  If you’re uncomfortable with something in the bedroom – COMMUNICATE!  You can not over-communicate in your marriage. Many extra-marital affairs occur because a husband or a wife is not providing something in the relationship.  Instead of thinking you can only get that something somewhere else – COMMUNICATE!
  5. It’s easy to judge from afar – but don’t.  I have tried my best in this post to steer clear of judging the Duggar family, but instead tried to look at what caused the most recent problem in the first place.  Sin is real, the struggle of pornography is real, the desire to run around and have fun is real for so many people.  I would dare say that most of us would not want our dirty laundry popping up on what’s trending on Twitter.  Instead of judging them, or anyone else – pray for them.  Pray that your family will avoid these kinds of situations.  Pray that you can be a light in a dark world.  Pray that Satan’s dart won’t pierce us all.

 

Bottom line – there is now a very broken family, a young man who will pay for his mistakes, a wife who is very much so heartbroken and shell-shocked, 4 young children who will always know the mistake their father made, a mother and father who are now wondering where they went wrong – ALL because of this mistake.

Temptation is one of the strongest things in the world.  May God give us all the power to look it eye to eye and say no.

Jan 25 2015

A Super, Huge, Ginormous Announcement

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Today, an official announcement was made by the elders of the Northwest Tampa Church of Christ to their membership that they have asked us to join their ministry team.  I will join their team in Tampa, Florida, as the preaching minister in March.

A few months ago, I had a phone interview with the elders there.  Throughout the course of that interview, I was blown away by the passion, the excitement, and the zeal behind their questions for me, as well as their answers to my questions.  I walked downstairs to my wife, Kristen, and told her – “I don’t want to put the cart before the horse – but I would love to work for this church.  It sounds amazing.”

After our first visit, we realized it didn’t just sound amazing, it IS amazing.  We fell in love with the family there during our first visit, and just as important, our daughter fell in love with them on our second visit to the point where she shed tears when we had to come home.  They have a ton of young children there, and the future is certainly bright.

We believe wholeheartedly that God has brought us together.  As Paul says in Romans 8:28 – “We know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.”  As we love God, I am excited about working together with the church family at Northwest Tampa, for the purpose of growing the Kingdom.

We believe that the church is a family, a family where anyone is welcome and everyone is loved. We believe in the mission of this church and we are excited about serving and growing alongside them. We look forward to dedicating many years of service to them. We look forward to working with a wonderful ministry team in place, under the oversight of some amazing elders.

May God bless us all as we move forward, as we all do our part to grow His Kingdom.  We solicit your prayers as we embark on this new and exciting adventure!

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Jan 18 2015

Things That Make This Grown Man Cry: Volume 1

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  1. Watching a group of grown men praise God after the NFC Championship football game – giving Him glory and honor for their talents.  Bonus – having a guy from the losing Packers team in the circle with a bunch of Seahawks players, plus having a coach in there as well.

    (This picture is actually from the Rams/Seahawks game on December 29, 2014)

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  2. Hearing people tell you that they’ve been praying for you.  Knowing that they are sincere.
  3. Today we snuck over to my parents to worship with them at Maple Hill.  I love watching my father play with my daughter.  He’s so patient, loving, kind, and compassionate.  He brought down an old jar of bubble gum trinkets from when he was a small child, and told of how his grandfather used to give him 10 pennies every Saturday, and he would get 10 trinkets out of the bubble gum machines.  He saved all of them, and he was able to make my modern, technological loving little girl be awe inspired by small, tiny, plastic trinkets from 60 years ago.

    (these weren’t the actual trinkets – I failed to snap a picture of the two of them looking at them – my father’s trinkets were much older!)

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  4. God’s blessings.  When I stop and think about how much He loves me – I can’t help but shed a tear.