I can’t even begin to tell you how hard it is to write this. However, sometimes, you just have to do hard things, right? I can’t even count how many times I’ve written about this topic – countless – but I’m going to bring it up yet again.

I know that I am not a “thin” man. However, I’ve never felt like I was a morbidly obese man.

Today, I found out that officially – I am. If I were to apply for health insurance coverage today based upon my current weight, I would be denied coverage. Fortunately, they won’t raise rates from where you initially qualified, but this is still a very sobering thought.

I will lay it all on the line – and fully disclose a few things. I’ve been trying. In fact, at times I’m rather upset that what I’m doing is not working. Tomorrow marks 300 days without any soft drinks, teas, juices…pretty much anything but water. I’ve also gone 160 days without eating french fries. I’ve given up two of my biggest vices so I can lose weight. But it hasn’t worked.

I lift weights 3-5 times a week. I’ve increased cardio. I’m eating better – but I’m still fat.

There’s nothing more humbling than putting on a pair of pants and having them not fit the right way. There’s nothing more troubling than bending over to tie your shoes and having to stop to catch your breath. There’s nothing worse than having a job where you stand in front of people each and every week several times and feeling like all eyes are on the flaws of your physicality.

Here’s the problem – I don’t really feel like I am “morbidly obese” person. But according to my health insurance, if I were to qualify for the preferred or basic coverage – I would have to lose 31 pounds up to 40 pounds. I honestly feel like if I were to lose that much I’d be a beanpole. But – if I want to save money and have good coverage – I have to do it.

I’ve never really cared that much about reaching a “number” for my weight. But apparently, that number is extremely important for insurance purposes.

Here’s where you come in. The book of James tells us to “confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person is powerful and effective.” While I don’t feel like I am confessing a sin, I am asking for prayers that I can be healed of my cravings, my lack of willpower, my lack of desire to stay focused on this endeavor, and that my health can improve.

I know there are people out there who are struggling with more issues than being overweight – but let’s face it, we all have struggles with our identity and our appearance. Will you pray for me? And if you need prayers in this same situation, can I pray for you? Let’s support each other in these endeavors. May God give us the willpower we need to stay the course for good health.