Feb 2 2020

Family Focused February – A Discipleship Initiative for Your Home

Family Focused February

I recently announced another new discipleship initiative here at the Mayfair Church of Christ that I’d love for all of you who are reading to participate in as well.  We’re calling it simply “Family Focused February.”

The idea behind this month is simple – spend time teaching, admonishing, encouraging those you are closest to – your family.

Some simple ways to do this:

  • Family bible readings each night
  • Family prayer time
  • Visit someone in the hospital
  • Make a visit to encourage people in the nursing homes
  • Make some homemade cookies and take them to a neighbor
  • Cook a large home cooked meal and take it to the local fire station
  • Make a commitment to be in church every Sunday of the month
  • Make a pledge to reach out to one nearby neighbor you don’t know
  • Memorize scripture together
  • Perform some random acts of kindness for people you don’t know

The list goes on and on – and it’s not something that ends at the end of February.  Make this is a pattern in your family.

If you’re not married, or if you don’t have a family living with you – find some of your closest friends and make a commitment to do some of these things.  The goal is this: to grow in your relationships with each other as you grow closer to God.  Do all these things for HIS glory.

What ideas can you come up with?

Jan 21 2020

Bottles of Blessings – How YOU Can Be Ready to Help Next Christmas

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Perhaps you’ve heard of churches that did an all out benevolent campaign to help others at Christmas by simply giving members of the church money from their budget, or from a wealthy benefactor, to give to those in need at Christmas.  This is a wonderful idea, and I’m so glad there are churches and people who are able to make this happen.

But it got me thinking – what if instead of me handing out someone else’s money, I handed out my own?

I believe with all of my heart that deep within every person is the desire to be benevolent to others.  The biggest hindrance to that almost always seems to be this: “I want to help, but I just don’t have enough extra in my budget to give and help others.

As part of the Mayfair Discipling initiative, I launched a program on Sunday simply called “Bottles of Blessings.”  The idea is simple – take this bottle, place it in a spot in your home where everyone sees it, and as you have spare change, dollar bills, etc., you place it in this bottle.  At the end of the year, tally it up, and use it to bless someone’s life.

Do you give your kids an allowance?  Give them their allowance in such a way where they can automatically put something in the bottle to bless someone at the end of the year, so they are a part of it.

I set a goal for our members – to save at least $100 for this cause.  They won’t be turning it in to anyone, there won’t be any checks and balances on it – it’s all between them and God.  But it’s always good to have a goal, right?

If you’re a member at Mayfair, we have a few bottles left at the front desk and by the auditorium doors.  If you’re just reading this and you won’t to participate – grab a mason jar or a cup at home, and put it somewhere with a sticker/label on it to remind you to participate.

But here’s the next step – start praying for someone to come into your life that you can help at Christmas in 2020.  Start praying that God will place someone in your life that needs the blessing you have to offer.  That way, when you hand them the blessing, you can tell them “I’ve been praying God would put you in my life so I could help someone.  Let me tell you about the mighty God I serve…”

Blessings to you all.

Jan 13 2020

The Art of Letting Go

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Not too long ago, a small Japanese woman took the world by storm, all due to a book she had written “The Life Changing Magic of Tidying Up.”

What is the art of tidying up?  In a nutshell, it’s de-cluttering your home and living a more minimal lifestyle.  It’s a way of organizing, sorting, cleaning, and discarding things in your home. 

She has very simple rules of “tidying” up. The most important one – Ask yourself if it sparks joy.

This idea has moved people to start cleaning out their closets, drawers, garages, attics – and getting rid of things in their lives that no longer spark joy.

However, Marie Kondo isn’t the first person to suggest we let go of things and move on.  In essence, she’s telling you what God has been trying to tell us for generations – and that is to let go.

I think there’s a vast spiritual connection here. If our body is the temple of the Lord, what kind of environment have we created for Him inside of us?

I think a lot of us may be good at keeping house, looking like we have it all together on the outside – but what about the inside? Is it full of clutter and mess?  Or is it a home that allows God to have space to work, create, and thrive inside of us?

The bible teaches us that if we want to be followers of Christ, that we have to repent, be baptized, and live our lives for Him. 

When we repent – we decide that we no longer want to live the way we are living in sin, and we are going to turn away from the lifestyle of the world.  Or, we’re going to get rid of things that clutter our lives.

When we are baptized – we start over, with a clean slate. We’ve allowed Jesus to cleanse us, to get rid of all the mess inside. It’s a new start.

Problem is – over a lifetime, we accumulate things we just aren’t sure we can get rid of.

When we did our own version of Marie Kondo’s Tidying Up, I found myself staring at 50+ items of clothing in my closet.  I pulled it all out and went through each item.  After I went through everything, I realized my “let go” pile was still awfully small. 

But why?  Why are we so hesitant to let go of things?  Maybe you spent a lot of money on something.  Maybe it holds sentimental value.  Maybe you just really like it.  Whatever the case may be, we have a hard time letting go.  We almost need someone to come in and say “It’s just stuff. It’s okay to let it go.”

We struggle the same way with the clutter in our lives.  This is where our relationship with God comes in.  We need HIS help to let go.  We need HIS help to come in and make us clean.  We can’t purge all the sin in our life without Him.

What ends up happening a lot of times when we de-clutter our homes, is that we get rid of some things, and then we end up going out and replacing all those things we just got rid of with more things. 

We do that with our spiritual lives as well.   We tend to go out and replace our sin with more sin.  But, with God’s help – we can keep this temple holy and clean.

Have you ever watched an episode of Hoarders on television?  This show often depicts a very serious psychological problem of people who cling to stuff for some reason or another.  And I’m not just talking about too many books for their shelves or too many clothes for their drawers.  They have so many possessions, they don’t have anywhere for them.  They end up stacking boxes on top of boxes, on top of trash, on top of clothes, and so on.

We look at these things with disgust – and we can’t imagine living in such filth, such disrepair, such chaos.


But I wonder, if the Holy Spirit living inside of you could show you what your mind looks like – would it represent a heart that had been tidied up like a Marie Kondo home, or a spirit filled with possessions like an episode of Hoarders?

The bible tells us over and over again to take our burdens, our worries, our struggles, our sins – and place them at the feet of Jesus.  To allow Jesus to take control of this body, heart, soul, mind – and purify us as only He can.

Psalm 55:22 tells us to “Cast your burden on the Lord, and He will sustain you.”

Matthew 11:28 tells us to “Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and he will give us rest.”

Isaiah 41:13 says “For I, the Lord your God, will hold your right hand, saying to you ‘Fear not, I will help you.”

I Peter 5:6-7 says “Humble yourselves under the mighty hand of God, that He may exalt you in due time, casting all your care on Him, for He cares for you.”

Isaiah 46:4 says “Even to your old age, I am He, and even to gray hairs I will carry you! I have made, and I will bear; even I will carry and will deliver you.”

For some reason, we like to hold on to as much as we can, instead of letting our Almighty Creator bear our burdens for us.  We cram all of this junk into our hearts, we let it clutter our spirit, and before long, we can’t make sense of any of it.  But it’s time to let it go.

It’s time to start tidying up. It’s time to make room for Christ to work in your heart, instead of letting your fears, anxieties, worries, struggles, troubles – take up all the room and occupy a place in your head.

Here’s what you do.  Get into the routine of praying this prayer:  “Lord, anything that comes near me that can harm me, hurt me, cause anxiety, and the like – I’m just going to lay it at your feet and let you deal with it instead of bringing it into the house and letting it take up unnecessary space.”

Jan 9 2020

How to Lose Weight Without Even Trying

 

Okay, so I’ll admit – that title is a “reel them in” type headline.  For years, I’ve looked for the solution.  Pills, shakes, fads, etc, and would you believe that NONE of them worked?

People put stickers on the arm, people spend thousands on specially formulated shakes, people spend even more on devices that make it all easy.  And the sad reality is that some truly believe that if they just pop a pill, put a sticker on their arm, or drink a special shake, that the weight will come off without any effort, and it will stay off forever.

I know, because I have been there, and bought the XXXL t-shirt.

When I got out of college and took my first job as a teacher and coach, I survived off eating Doritos and Totinos pizzas.  I ballooned up to some awful weight, and then discovered ephedrine.  It was in ALL the diet pills.  And you know what?  It worked, and it worked well.  At that time, I weighed around 265, and dropped down to 190, which was my high school weight.

But the more I read about ephedrine, the more I realized it was a simply awful pill.  So I stopped taking it.  And with that, all the weight slowly crept back on.  No, it wasn’t overnight, it took about the same amount of time it took for it to come off.  But it came back, and then some.

And for the past 17 years, I’ve tried to replicate that success with varying degrees – all without victory.  Arbonne, Advocare, drinking shakes, exercise only, the list goes on and on.  But nothing worked.  I even tried joining a very expensive weight loss support group, but found the support highly lacking, and they really just cared about getting my money.

Part of that was my attitude toward food.  I simply LOVE to eat.  Pizza? Yes.  Cheeseburgers? Yes.  Chicken tenders? Yes.  French Fries?  Yes please! Mexican food of all types?  OH YES!  I could down baskets of chips, then eat everything on my plate.

But you know what else I had?  Stomach and digestive issues.  I’d fill myself up, and feel awful, bloated, sick to my stomach.  Me and Mr. Toilet were best friends.  And I began to creep up and up in my weight.

It wasn’t just that either?  My confidence was completely shot.  My self esteem was at an all time low.  My mental clarity was non-existent.  And when I checked the scales and I had climbed up to 315 big ones – I wept at what I had become, and knew something had to be done.

So here’s what I did.  I started off with prayer.  WHAT?  Prayer can’t help you lose weight can it?  But here’s the catch – I didn’t pray for me to lose 100 pounds.  I prayed for my mindset to change.  I prayed for willpower to say no.  And I did this for a few weeks before I even started.

On August 7, I began my transformation.  After many weeks of prayer and prep, I decided to do the Keto based diet.  In essence, it is highly restrictive in the amount of carbs you can have, and dependent on healthy fats and protein to fill you up.  I had seen some lasting success in others who had done it, and from what I read, seemed like it was something I could do.

That Wednesday, I actually had a speaking engagement in Winterhaven, FL.  I was successful during the day, and left Tampa around 4pm to make it to the church in Winterhaven.  Typically when I speak somewhere, i’ll grab something to eat in the car on the way home.  So this was my first test.

I remember thinking – “Oh well, Lane.  You gave it your best shot, but it’s just not practical to stop eating fast food burgers and fries, because you’re just in the car too much and traveling too much.”  I drove for about 25 minutes fighting that conversation.  And then it hit me – this is what I had been praying for!  I change of heart.  Willpower.

I went home, and at 9pm or so, sat down to a Keto approved meal.  And the rest is history.

I’ve not cheated once since then.

At first, I was doing Keto and strict calorie counting.  As I have moved on, I have swapped calorie counting for full satiation.  I’m not going nuts on the calories, but I walk away feeling full.

If we do fast food – burger without a bun, no fries.  Steak places are easy, with broccoli, salad, and a big steak.  Chicken for days, so long as it’s not breaded.  Cheese and more cheese please.  I’ve eaten more salads, more cruciferous veggies, and more pieces of meat than I ever thought possible.

I also began doing intermittent fasting – a method of restrictive eating based on time.  My last meal is dinner, and I’ll not eat breakfast, with usually at least a 15 or 16 hour break of not eating until lunch.

All of these things have worked.  Since August of 2019, I am down from 315 pounds to a still not so great but much better 274 pounds.  41 pounds of weight loss.

But I don’t give the credit to keto or intermittent fasting.  I give the credit to God giving me the willpower that I prayed for and believed I would receive.

For those of you who know me well, or at least knew me well before I did this – I did NOT eat well at all.  Especially on my veggies.  But here’s a plate of food that I ate the other night, and I devoured it:

If you’re struggling with your weight – please, STOP looking for the easy fix.  And also PLEASE understand that this is your life you’re dealing with.  You have one body, and that’s it.  My goal weight now is 225.  Who knows?  Maybe I can even beat that.

But even if I don’t — I FEEL SO MUCH BETTER ALREADY!  No more bloat, no more stomach issues, and no more 30 minute trips to restroom.

I hope you find what you’re looking for.  Listen – will this end in demise or success?  I know what I want, but I also know it will only be as successful as the effort I put into it.  I hope you find your motivation, and I hope I maintain mine.

Jan 7 2020

Family Improvement: Reading Through the New Testament (It’s Easy, and You Can Do It, Too! Free downloadable plan for you and your family!)

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My wife decided this year was going to be the year we read through the entire New Testament as a family.

There’s a lot of reasons why a family says they can’t do that:

  • We don’t have time to do that
  • We can’t fit one more thing into our day
  • We can just do it on our own
  • I don’t know where to start
  • My kids will never buy into that
  • My spouse won’t want to do that

The list could go on for days, but there’s no real reason every family shouldn’t be reading the Bible daily.

So here’s why this is easy.

  • I took a list of the New Testament in chronological order, and from that, came up with a very simple daily reading list which you can get by clicking the following – Widick Family Chronological Reading Plan
  • This won’t take you more than 5-10 minutes of your time
  • It will pay off big time in the end, because a family that reads the bible together sticks together

I encourage you all to find a way to make this happen.  We have made it a goal that at 8:30 every night, we stop what we’re doing, and we go the day’s reading.  The reading is never more than a chapter or two, and doesn’t take very long to get through.

You don’t have to find time for questions and answers, just let the Word of God speak.

Whether you’re young or old, single or married, childless or a home full of children, I think it would do you a great bit of good to commit.

Jan 2 2020

Moments to Remember

Josie's poem

My sweet daughter wrote this poem for my father this year for Christmas.  It was our first Christmas without Marty, but we’ve also said goodbye to other family members in the past.

We played Bingo at my aunt and uncle’s house with my grandmother’s old bingo set.  We reminisced about when we used to all gather around on Christmas day and play Trivial Pursuit, and how my other grandmother would just blurt out answers for the opposing team.

I told my wife the story of how one Christmas eve at the Widick house.  My mom’s parents would stay with us in their later years on Christmas eve.  My grandfather couldn’t walk without shuffling his feet.  He never picked them up, he just sort of scooted around like Tim Conway would do in his old man comedy sketches.

My parents gave them their bed downstairs, and one year – my grandmother kept yelling at the top of her lungs to my grandfather “Quit shuffling your feet!  You’re going to wake up the whole house!!”  All the while, we never heard his feet, but we certainly heard her!

People will come and go in your life.  Family members pass on.  But the memories of the holiday seasons past stay with us.

Jan 1 2020

3 Ways to Be A Better Disciple of Jesus in 2020

3 Ways

We all try our best to either start or stop something when a new year arrives.  I’m not sure what it is about the date changing that causes us to intentionally focus on doing something new with our lives, but I’m glad it gives us a time to reflect and challenge ourselves to a new path.

In 2020 – what would it look like if you decided to take the calling of Jesus more seriously?

When Jesus went home to the Father to go and prepare a place for us – He gave us a task that is deeply intimate and personal.  He asked us to live a life like His, where we create relationships that are based on the relationships that He had with His disciples.  He asked us to teach others about Him, to teach them everything He had taught us, to live like He had lived here on this earth.

For too long, the church has not focused on teaching this idea.  The church has focused on growth through baptism, through adding numbers, through programs, by offering benevolence – and while all these things are wonderful things that should indeed happen – we’re missing out on one key component: being a disciple.

You are a follower of Jesus.  And when you put on Christ in baptism, it is so much more than just being forgiven of your sins.  You have decided to go on a new adventure where you put Christ at the front of every decision you make.

Here are 3 ways to be a better disciple of Jesus in 2020:

  1. Live like Jesus.

    How did Jesus live His life?  With purpose, with His eye focused on the goal.  He lived His life knowing that He had a job to do for all mankind.  He was going to go to the cross.

    You have a purpose as well.  You have a task of telling others about Jesus.

    You live your life like Jesus lived His – with intentionality.  Everything he did, He knew was a reflection of the Father.  The way he interacted with strangers and friends alike demonstrated that He was the Son of God.  Since we are part of God’s family, and since He is our Father, shouldn’t we do the same?

  2. Look like Jesus.

    What does it mean to look like Jesus?

    I know Jesus got angry when He overturned the tables in the temple – but He did that because of how it was offensive to God that people were turning the temple into a place full of corruption.

    What does it look like when you defend God?  What does it look like when you live like the Son?

    Be consistent.  Be disciplined.  Be focused.  Live your life so that people see the Father, the Son, and the Spirit in you by your actions.

    The old saying of “What would Jesus do?” works very well here – but replace it with this: will others see Jesus in this action?  If the answer is no, perhaps you should rethink what you’re doing.

    When people see you – do they see Jesus?

  3. Love like Jesus.

    Ephesians 5:2 tells us this: “Live a life filled with love, following the example of Christ. He loved us and offered himself as a sacrifice for us, a pleasing aroma to God.” (NLT)

    It looks like in order to love like Jesus, we simply follow His example.  Christ did this best when he told us to love our enemies.  In our world today – this probably looks like praying and loving those who have it out for us, who gossip about us, who spread rumors about us.  But it also means praying for those who don’t look like us, sound like us, or act like us.

    How better to love each other than in a year of political strife, campaigning, and fighting – you resolve to not look at whether or not people are in a red state or blue state, but instead examine their spiritual state.  Love conquers all.

Dec 24 2019

When Christmas is a Challenge

26114107_10204280294844961_3814914844198375237_nWho knew?

Last Christmas was our last one with Marty.  Marty loved Christmas.

I remember the best gift I ever got for Marty was a poster when he was either first married or engaged, don’t remember which, but it was a poster that said “All I Ever Needed to Know I Learned from Star Trek.”  He was a big Trek fan.

One year, me and Kristen, Marty and Penny, and Mary Anne and Kevin played “secret Santa.”  Not the most fun with just 6 folks, but still fun.  Marty had drawn my name.  He didn’t get me a book, or gift card, or something for the office.  No – my brother bought me a Japanese Maple tree for my back yard.  Only Marty would think of something like that.

My worst Christmas was also my brother’s fault – because he got married on December 22.  In Florida.  Far, far away from my traditional Christmas celebration.  At the time, I was miserable.  But we’ve all looked back on that trip with lots of laughter (because the only thing that went right was the marriage!!).

Hold the ones you love close tonight.

Dec 19 2019

What’s Your Faith Story?

We all have a faith story.  Some of your faith stories may be more elaborate, and some of them may be pretty vanilla.  But your faith story consists of more than just the day you became a Christian.

Someone taught you.  Someone showed you.  Someone helped you.

And your faith story may just help someone see Jesus.

One of the easiest ways to be a disciple is to live out your faith daily.

What is keeping you from sharing your story of faith?

Dec 18 2019

One of the Only Guaranteed Things in Life…

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Changes.  They happen.  I guarantee it.  Changes happen, regardless of whether we want them to or not.

Recently, I’ve gone through some changes.

First – my family and I made a move from Tampa, FL to Huntsville, AL.

Second – I got out of full time preaching ministry, and took a job as a Discipling and Associate minister.

Third – I went off some major medication.

Fourth – I lost something.

Now, let’s discuss these changes real quick.  Back in March of 2015, we moved to Tampa, FL from Nashville, TN to preach for the Northwest Tampa Church of Christ.  My time there was both a blessing and a hardship.  I will admit, I had a hard time there.  It was far from my family.  It was not the “Bible Belt” that I was used to.  It didn’t have the traditional southern charm we grew up with in my family.  But for 4.5 years, I worked with some great families in my church, and we miss our small group terribly.  There were some great folks in there, even though one of them did ruin my birthday cake by putting turnip greens into some cupcakes…but that’s for another time.

We were not looking to move – but an opportunity landed in my life that I felt was directly from God.  I was invited to work with the Mayfair Church of Christ and to serve on their leadership team as their discipleship minister.  I began that job in October, and it has been the greatest blessing of my life to work alongside the best ministry staff in the world.

At the same time, my wife was able to secure a teaching job at Madison Academy.

When we started to make this transition, I decided to go off some medication.  I hesitate to write about this, because it is deeply personal, but I feel like it could help someone in the future.  In August of 2017, due to some situations that had occurred in my life, my doctor thought it was best, after visiting with a counselor, to go on some anxiety medication.

I remember when I took the first pill, I didn’t know what to expect.  From my time in teaching and youth ministry, I was expecting to zone out – but what happened was exactly the opposite.  The things I worried about, struggled with, things I couldn’t let go of – I was now able to deal with them.  Things that got shut me down didn’t anymore.  Situations I didn’t want to face were no longer a problem.

Lack of encouragement was a real motivator behind going on the medication.  A person can only go so far without it, and was really struggling.  While the medication did not provide “encouragement” it did provide the ability to see beyond it, to compartmentalize things, to move forward.

On Sunday, December 15, I took my last pill.  I no longer need it.  I have been encouraged and uplifted here and that was a MAJOR factor in being able to move past the pills.

Another major change has been something I’ve lost.  Since August 7, 2019, I have been on the Keto Diet.  I used to laugh at folks who did the diet.  I couldn’t understand why people would want to restrict themselves.  How can you give up potatoes and rice and chips?

Earlier this summer before all the changes began – I ballooned up to 315 pounds.  It was officially the heaviest I’ve ever been.  I was miserable.  I was diagnosed with obstructive sleep apnea.  I was in a bad place.  When my wife and daughter moved to Huntsville ahead of me to start school, I began doing the Keto diet.  No more than 30 carbs a day, try to keep under 1600 calories a day, and lo and behold, the weight started to come off.

I wasn’t able to weigh myself over the past few months since we’ve been staying with my in-laws with all of our possessions in storage.  So this past weekend, when we finally closed on our new house and moved in, I was able to find the scales.

I’m down to 275.  40 pounds gone.  And it feels wonderful.  I still have a long way to go.  But I feel so good.  I’m not bloated, no upset stomach, food is no longer a major motivator in my life.  I can bend over and tie my shoes without struggling.  I’ve struggled with weight most of my adult life.  I know that dieting is not a fleeting moment, but rather, a lifestyle change.

I say these things to motivate you.  To encourage you.  If you think you may need medications for anxiety, depression, etc. – don’t wait.  Go see a doctor today.  If you need to lose weight, don’t put it off.  There’s no time like the present.  I know, I know, the holidays are coming up, so you’ll “start it in the new year.”  No, you probably won’t.  Sure you may go and buy what you need and plan on it, but if you wait, there’s always an event coming up that you don’t want to miss.  I did TWO THANKSGIVING MEALS and DID NOT CHEAT!  Christmas is coming, and I’ll again do the same.

Finally – I’ve moved my blog to this new site – http://www.ministerlane.com – with hopes of having a more regular presence once again.